幽默英语小故事150字带翻译

1 Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall Observers waited for mayhem to ensue

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE"

中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

2 Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army Joan Phillips was one of them She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance He said to her, "I“m going abroad tomorrow, but I“d be very happy if we could write to each other" Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I“ve come to visit Captain Humphreys"

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said

"Oh, that“s all right," answered Joan "I“m his sister"

"I“m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I“m his mother!"

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，"我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。"琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说，"我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。"

"这里只有亲属可以探望病人。"护士长说。

"噢，是的，"琼说，"我是他的妹妹。"

"很高兴认识你，"护士长说，"我是他的母亲。"

希望能帮助到您，望采纳！

若是你在 学习英语 的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小 故事 放松放松。英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors

我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。

After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly

过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。

He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps

麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors”Wait a minute!”she snapped"My mother's coming”

趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”

英语幽默小故事2

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names" Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago"

Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”

英语幽默小故事3

Two guys were walking through the jungle All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you"

两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

英语幽默小故事4

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were

一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀”

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex

金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that

女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”

"HELLLOOOOOOO" answered the blonde "They're watch dogs!"

“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”

英语幽默小故事5

Too Much Pressure

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworkedThe population of this country is 237 million104 million are retiredThat leaves 133 million to do the workThere are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the workOf this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work28 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 162 million to do the workTake from the total the 148 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 14 million to do the workAt any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the workNow，there are 1，211，998 people in prisonsThat leaves just two people to do the workYou and meAnd you’re sitting at the table reading jokes

压力太大

多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有237亿人口。其中104亿已经退休了。还剩下133亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有188万人生病住院，现在只剩下1212万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。

英语幽默小故事6

Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics

Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands"

Economists can supply it on demand

You can talk about money without ever having to make any

You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face

Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out

When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there

If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE"

Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue

When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility

学习经济学的九大理由

经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”

经济学家们能够做到有求必应。

你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。

你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。

米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。

站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。

假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。

伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。

喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。

英语幽默小故事7

Nobel Prize in Economics

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing

Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one

(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)

诺贝尔经济学奖

两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。

或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。

(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)

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1 Midway Tactics Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall Observers waited for mayhem to ensue The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE" 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 2 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army Joan Phillips was one of them She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance He said to her, "I“m going abroad tomorrow, but I“d be very happy if we could write to each other" Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England Joan went there and said to the matron, "I“ve e to visit Captain Humphreys" "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said "Oh, that“s all right," answered Joan "I“m his sister" "I“m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I“m his mother!" 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，"我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。"琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，"我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。" "这里只有亲属可以探望病人。"护士长说。 "噢，是的，"琼说，"我是他的妹妹。" "很高兴认识你，"护士长说，"我是他的母亲。" 希望能帮助到您，望采纳！ Midway Tactics Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall Observers waited for mayhem to ensue The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE" 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army Joan Phillips was one of them She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other" Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys" "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan "I‘m his sister" "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill Gee said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him Then Gee said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen" Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill" Bill gave him one Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "Are you going out" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door Gee said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and" He stopped "What do you want now" Bill said to him Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address" 军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗” 比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗”比尔给了他一张。 这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗” 比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有”他停住了。 “你还要什么”比尔问。 乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-” Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18 So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18 But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised "How old are you" he said "Eighteen, sir," said John "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor "Are you ins" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red "My brother is five months older than I am" 大五个月 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game beeen Army and Boston College Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point" One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not ing to West Point" 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” (6)Present for Girlfriend At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend "Shall I engrave her name on it" the jeweler asked The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘ That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again" 送给女友的礼物 在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗”珠宝商问道。 那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each The wife wanted to travel around the world The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand Next, it was the hu and‘s turn He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me" The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was niy 慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal "Hu ands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened" "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves" 森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬” 智课 有 英汉双翻译的 文章

英语幽默：Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”

Catch a cold 得感冒

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent

"How am I doing" he asked the coach at the end of the round

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold"

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