一个英文歌,mv是情侣几段相互恶搞的段子,唱歌是在车上。在线等

一个英文歌,mv是情侣几段相互恶搞的段子,唱歌是在车上。在线等,第1张

下面是我整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇,欢迎大家阅读!

英语搞笑笑话:Imitation 模仿

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother Your stomach's hurting because it's empty It'll be all right when you've got something in it

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache

That's because it's empty, said his bright son You'd be all right if you had something in it

一个男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛。来,坐下,吃点点心,妈妈说,你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的,他那聪明的儿子说,里面装点东西,就会好的。

英语搞笑笑话: Fried chicken

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack"

Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir"

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生,“杰克,你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊”

杰克想了想,回答,“炸鸡,老师。”

英语搞笑笑话:I've Just Bitten My Tongue

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous" the young snake asked his mother

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

英语搞笑笑话:我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

How much English can you speak

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to

be accused of theft He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his

way around What's more, he only speaks a few words of English"

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

"法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。

而且,他只会说几个 英语单词 。"

法官看了看被告,问道:"你会说多少英文"

被告抬起头,说:"把你的钱包给我!"

英语搞笑笑话:He Won 他赢了

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗

约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿

约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。

英语搞笑笑话:Three pastors 三个牧师

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away

Another said, Yes, me too I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away

The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the churchhaven’t seen one back since!

三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道:“你们知道吗,自从夏天来临,我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰,我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

另外一位说:“是啊,我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍,它们还是赶不走。”

第三个牧师说:“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼,让它们成为教会的一员从此一只也没有再回来过。”

英语搞笑笑话:Excited Remarks 激动的话

Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive

One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies

我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。

一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。

英语搞笑笑话:Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic

Here is the situation, she said A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help

His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank Why do you think she ran to the bank

A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings

小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子:有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。

他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会 游泳 ,所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么 一个女生举手答道,是不是去取他的存款

很多人受欢迎,是因为他们送能把生活中的一些现象用一种幽默的方式解说除了,因此你发现幽默段子之所以深受大家的认可,是因为这些句子总是一语惊人。接下来就是我为你精心准备的《幽默笑话段子精选300字》,欢迎观看!

幽默笑话段子精选300字(热门篇)

1世界上最二的一句英文,莫过于“从1:58到2:02”, 请大声朗读:two to two to two two(@史上第一最最搞)

2有几个人在谈论苏东坡。小王说:“我喜爱东坡的诗。”老李说:“我喜爱东坡的赋。”这时来了老李的媳妇,说:“我也喜爱。”老李听了说:“她最爱东坡肉!”

3晚餐时,老公抱怨老婆煮的菜太难吃。老婆说:“你娶的是老婆,不是厨师!”晚上睡觉时,老婆说:“楼上有怪声,你上去看看。”老公说:“你嫁的是老公,不是警-察!”

4某学校新建一雕塑:一少女右手捧书左手举一白鸽。校领导向校内学生公开征集名字,一时间回复络绎不绝,收集的名字是五花八门,啥都有,但是,其中一名字呼声最高——读书顶个鸟用!!!

5去西安出差的路上,一位大连老兄一阵狂吹大连多好多好,然后说大连建市一百周年的时候举行了很隆重的庆祝活动云云,然后问了旁边一人:“西安建市一百周年有什么庆祝活动没有”旁边几位西安的哥们一愣,过了一会儿,逼出一句话来:“我记得西安建市600年的时候搞了一个‘烽火戏诸侯’吧…”

6昨天上坟,今天上班,心情一天比一天沉重

7表演系的女生娶不得:你会不知道是在生活还是在演戏。摄影系:在你睡觉的时候打上探灯,给你拍一组最另类的写真。美术系:每天要你当裸模。经济系:她会榨干你身上的每一分钱。化学系:小心吵架的时候硫酸让你毁容。政法系:离婚分财产说不过她。物理系:听说马桶上接电线杀人就是她们干的。(@史上第一最最搞)

8我认识一个写星座的,每周都有十几家报纸刊登她的当周运势,她光靠这个每个月就能获得至少3万元收入,而每篇运势只需要半个小时就能写出来,性价比奇高。(@土摩托)

9六年前他被女友甩了,因为工作不稳定。五年前他被女友甩了,因为没房。四年前他被女友甩了,因为没车。三年前他被女友甩了,因为穿着没品味。两年前他被女友甩了,因为不会家务。一年前他被女友甩了,因为不温柔。今年他英俊多金有房有车温柔体贴家务万能,还是被甩了。因为没人相信他不是GAY。

10目前新西兰发行的英国皇家婚礼邮票出了一个尴尬的错误,一张邮票的中线恰好将威廉王子和未来王妃凯特·米德尔顿分开。这张面值58纽币的邮票可以从中间撕开当作两张邮票使用,印有米德尔顿头像的一半邮票价值24纽币,印有威廉王子头像的一半邮票价值34纽币。设计湿你在享受撕开邮票的那一瞬间嘛。

幽默笑话段子精选300字(经典篇)

1“如果你拒绝我,那我就去卧轨。”“那让我再好好想一想,今天的末班火车到站时间还早着呢!”

2薪水的压力来自于:前同事、老同学、前女友的现男友、现女友的前男友、现女友闺蜜的男友以及父母朋友的子女。——现代生活的压力定律(@微博冷笑话段子)

3一男子由于个子矮,始终找不到工作!某日,男子回家兴奋地对老婆说:“我找到工作了!”老婆大喜,问道:“太好了,什么工作”男子说:“售楼!老板说我往房间一站,房子看起来大了很多!”(@中文幽默王)

4瑞士格劳宾登州一家公司发明了一种新技术:将骨灰制成钻石。今后死者骨灰可不用再装入骨灰盒中入土,能戴手指上永远相伴。加工过程是先将骨灰净化,然后在超高温超高压的条件下用压缩机将其变成宝石。将爱人的骨灰变成戒指,戴在无名指上,让爱伴你们一生一世,永不分离。。。。。(@恋家的人)

5从前有一颗豆,他老婆出墙,他成了绿豆,有一天他自杀从5楼跳下来,流了很多血,变成了红豆;一直流脓,又变成了黄豆;伤口结了疤,最后成了黑豆;大难不死他大彻大悟,投身AV界,成了毛豆;再后来他看破世情,毅然出柜,终于成了弯(豌)豆…

6一个女的克夫, 克死了十多个 ,一外国人不信邪, 和她结婚 ,为什么没有死---Nike

7有一个商人到国外出差,晚上趁机去看了脱衣舞秀,回到旅馆后发觉眼睛很痛。第二天去了医院,对医生说了自己的病况。医生:“不用开药了,只不过下次有类似情况的时候记得眨眼。”

8多上一天课,然后再放三天假,不是等于没放假嘛!!!!!尼玛的当我弱智啊!!!!!

9月薪2k,对出勤率负责;5k,对按时完成率负责;8k,对质量负责;12k,对小团队情绪负责;16k,对到款率负责;20k,要想着怎么来钱保住自己饭碗;40k,保住部门;100k,保住大部门;100k+,考虑如何创造机会给人存活;500k,优化所在领域 。

10陪老婆买手表。老婆挑中了一块小巧秀气的进口高级手表,得一千多元钱。我赶紧劝她:“这表针太细,你的眼睛又不好……”老婆打断我的话,“只要别人的眼睛好就行了!”

幽默笑话段子精选300字(精选篇)

1一天老公提早从公司下班回家,一进房间就看到老婆光着身子躺在床上。老公就问:“你怎么没穿衣服呢”老婆回答:“我没有衣服穿啊!”老公:“你昨天不是才去过百货公司吗”老公边说边打开衣橱,翻着衣物说道:“买了一堆衣服,鞋子,裤子,袜子……天啊!你连男店员都买回来了……”

2我一同事鼻青眼肿的来上班,我问他怎么了他说:昨天我在女朋友家准备亲吻我女朋友,她说不行,她大姨妈来了!我奇怪:亲吻和大姨妈有什么关系同事说:“我也这么认为的,于是强吻女朋友,结果有一个妇人闯进来,见我就一顿爆K,说我为什么欺负她的外甥女”(@瞬间乐翻你)

3未婚妻低声地问:“亲爱的!婚后你还会像现在一样爱我吗”未婚夫仔细地考虑后说:“当然,我最喜欢有夫之妇了。”

4百度便涨红了脸,额上的青筋条条绽出,争辩道,“窃书不能算偷……窃书!……IT人的事,能算偷么”接连便是难懂的话,什么“避风港“,什么“底线”之类,引得众人都哄笑起来。

5有一块地皮叫中国,活着的时候,你只能在上面住70年,死了的时候,你只能在下面躺20年。

6一次,丈夫为妻子盛饭,笨拙的丈夫不小心打破了一个碗,他不好意思地说:“没想到会发生地震!”说着,丈夫又拿起了一个碗,但是,碗又滑到了地上。这下,丈夫红了脸,喃喃地说:“怎么还有余震!”

7如果你吻一个女人,心跳达到250,那肯定是初吻。如果你吻一个女人,心跳达到180,那肯定是偷情。如果你吻一个女人,心跳达到120,那肯定是热恋。如果你吻一个女人,心跳达到80,那肯定是老婆。如果你吻一个女人,心跳达到30,那肯定是凤姐。如果你吻一女人,心跳达到0,那肯定是心肌梗塞。(@好色一生)

8四大虚老板的肾,当官的稿,**的眼泪,统计局的表。四大闲大款的老婆,领导的钱,下岗职工,调研员。四大知到了北京才知道官小,到了上海才知道楼小,到了深圳才知道钱少, 到了包厢才知道老婆太老。四大“不能说”牛市被套, 小蜜被泡, 赃款被盗, 伟哥失效。

9这些天与“龅牙哥”同时走红网络的“茫然弟”终于真身出现了——他似乎由茫然变成了郁闷。(ps:话外音,有的人想红,苦恼这;有的人不想红,可他就红了,同样苦恼这。总结:人活着,本身就是一种苦恼,你的任务,就是让它变得不苦恼,这可能也是人活着的意义所在吧)(@史上第一最最搞@冷笑话精选)

Chris Rene-Gonna Be Ok

It's gonna okbe

It's gonna be ok

It's gonna be ok

I learned to make 'em run like the revenant

But I never had a 9 milli or a mac 11

I was enticed by the G life

When I met them boys from the east side

Yeah making money in the street life

You could get stunted drinking honey from the bee hive

Made my way through the troubles sometimes

You could say I always had something else on my mind

Yeah I've been all about that mean code

When I was younger always look up to the hero

Everyone else they liked Scarface, DeNiro

They used used call me a weirdo

If you ever felt like your world is over

Thought about just giving up

Feeling like you're f----d up when you're sober

And your best shot's not enough

Have you ever thought about just ending

Even toy with the curtain call

I know how you feel right now my friend see,

I've been backed on against the wall

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

I remember I was rapping in the twilight saying

It would be so nice living in the limelight

It was 1999 right I never it saw coming

Grinding hit me blindside

Been so many years since I looked back

I know that it's this music makes me at look my life

In a different perspective to many studio sessions

Got my music obsession without no musical lessons

Learned to play punk rock listened to other lessons

I was raised west side and used my mind as a weapon

I got cracked a few times and I spat a few lines

Ain't saying that it's cool just glad that I survived

If you ever felt like your world is over

Thought about just giving up

Feeling like you're f----d up when you're sober

And your best shot's not enough

Have you ever thought about just ending

Even toy with the curtain call

I know how you feel right now my friend see,

I've been backed on against the wall

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey It's gonna be ok

Before this day is done

And it falls down out the sun

Just let me hear you say

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

If you ever felt like your world is over

Thought about just giving up

Feeling like you're f----d up when you're sober

And your best shot's not enough

Have you ever thought about just ending

Even toy with the curtain call

I know how you feel right now my friend see,

I've been backed on against the wall

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok ,hey hey

It's gonna be ok

熬夜对身体不好,所以我建议你通宵。Staying up late is not good for your health, so I suggest you stay up all night整理了一些英语 说说大全 ,欢迎大家阅读!

1、我胖了才显得你瘦,免得我瘦的时候显得你丑。I am fat to look thin, so that I don't look ugly when I am thin

2、在街上看美女,目光高一点就是欣赏,目光低一点就是流氓。Looking at beauties in the street, the higher one is appreciation, and the lower one is rogue

3、如果你主动一点,我们不光会有故事,还会有孩子。If you take the initiative, we will not only have stories, but also children

4、这个世间只有圆滑,没有圆满的。This world only smooth, not perfect

5、我喜欢交朋友,但不喜欢供祖宗。I like to make friends, but I don't like to offer sacrifices to my ancestors

6、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛,可我却用它来翻白眼。The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used it to turn white eyes

7、即使失败99次,我也要继续下去,最起码凑个整,免得强迫症又犯了Even if I fail 99 times, I will continue, at least to make a whole, so as not to make another obsessive-compulsive disorder!

8、我卖的了梦,装得了酷,我是超级无敌美少女。I sell the dream, pretend to be cool, I am a super invincible beauty girl

9、幸好追你的时候你重,跑不动。Fortunately, you are heavy and can't run when chasing you

10、谈一次恋爱,少一个朋友。A love, less friends 11、早起的鸟儿有早饭吃,晚起的鸟儿有晚饭吃。The early bird has breakfast, the late bird has supper

12、你那么甜,不适合风吹日晒,适合躺在我怀里。You are so sweet, not suitable for the wind and sun, suitable for lying in my arms

13、我是水神,我为自己带盐!I am the water god, I bring salt for myself!

14、自从放了暑假,我就把早餐给戒了。Since the summer vacation, I've given up breakfast

15、当初说好的不让我受一点委屈,果然不止一点点。I was not wronged by what I said at the beginning, and it was indeed more than a little

16、减肥这种事从来不会船到桥头自然直,你这体重,没到桥头船就沉了。This kind of thing will never go straight from bridge to bridge Your weight will sink before bridge

17、我真是个花心的人,暑假刚走了我就想着寒假。I'm really a flowery person I think of winter vacation just after the summer vacation

18、听君一席话,省我十本书。Listen to your words, save me ten books

19、衣柜衣服千千万,只有新的最好看。There are thousands of clothes in the wardrobe, only the new ones are the best to see

20、你是最好的,如果真有人比你好,我就装作没看见。You are the best If someone is better than you, I pretend I haven't seen it

21、孔子不能解决的问题,老子帮你解决。I will help you solve the problems that Confucius can't solve

22、车到山前必有路,有路我也刹不住。There must be a way to get to the front of the mountain I can't stop if there is a way

23、我们说好不分离,要一直一直在一起。We agreed not to separate, to always be together

24、别和我谈恋爱,虚伪,有本事咱俩结婚。Don't fall in love with me Hypocrisy We can get married

25、从来都不用化妆品,我保持年轻的秘诀就是,谎报年龄。I never use cosmetics The secret to keep young is to lie about my age

26、每当我找到成功的钥匙,就有人偷偷把锁给换了。Whenever I find the key to success, someone stealthily changes the lock 27、愿你们都拥有人人羡慕的爱情,而我有钱就好。I wish you all have the love that everyone envies, and I have money

28、大姨妈是吐血鬼,卫生巾是吸血鬼。Big aunt is a spitting blood ghost, sanitary napkin is a vampire

29、怎么把脑子的钱转到yhk里,在线等,急!How to transfer the money of brain to bank card, online, etc, urgent!

30、前面一只虫飞到我的数学题旁边,看了几眼题目死了。A bug in front of me flew to my math problem and saw the problem dead

31、想和你喝酒是假,想醉你怀里是真。Want to drink with you is false, want to drunk your arms is true

32、待我日后嫁得良人,定谢你当年不娶之恩。I will thank you for not marrying when I am married

33、这世间,真心本就稀缺,更该俭省。In this world, sincerity is scarce, even more frugal

34、青春就是疯狂的奔跑,然后华丽的跌倒。Youth is crazy running, then gorgeous fall

35、没有人不会累,只是每个人宣泄的方式不同,比如我:懒得说。No one is not tired, but everyone has different ways of venting, such as me: lazy to say

以上就是带给大家欣赏的英语 说说大全 ,喜欢记得收藏!

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early morning business flight to Chicago Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece ot paper, " Please wake me at 5am"

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am, and that he had missed his flight Furious, he was about ot go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed, it said, "It is 5am, wake up!"

Q: Why are mushrooms invited to parties

A: Because they are such fun-gi

Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard

A: "Curl Up and Dye"

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils The florist's son handed her a gift She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is Some flowers" "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is A box of sweets" "That's right, but how did you know" asked the girl "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue "Is it wine" she asked "No," the boy replied, with some excitement The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue "Is it champagne" she asked "No," the boy replied, with more excitement The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son "Wake up now! It's time to go to school" "I don't want to go to school," the son replied His mother said, "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school" "Okay One, all the children hate me Two, all the teachers hate me" "Not good enough," the mother replied "Fine," the son said "Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school" "One, you're 50 years old Two, you're the principal of the school"

A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet Heads meant true, tails meant false The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on "Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my answers"

10、 妇女进步奖

今天,老婆逛街归来,进屋就嚷开了:“这日子没法过了,咱俩死了得了,这两个死钱不吃不喝还能撑到月底?除了工资外,没有不涨的东西,买了五块钱的猪肉,炖点酸菜还不够你一个人造的。明天赶快回你妈家,多拿点白菜土豆回来,好坚持一下。”顺手掏出一包卫生巾扔到桌上,说了一句让我震惊的话:“再他妈的涨,这月经都来不起了。”

9、 最佳音响奖

那天路过一路口,有放屁的欲望,正好有一个人在蹬摩托,我就想借此机会掩盖自己的屁声,哪知道声音过大,那蹬摩托的人以为发动开了,挂上档就要走,那次我糗大了

8、 手机商特别奖

我的一个朋友,新买了个手机。结果上公共厕所的时候不小心把手机掉到便坑里去了。不幸之中的万幸是便坑里面的东西很粘稠,手机没有没到里面去。正当他准备 找东西捞手机的时候,有人给他打电话!恰巧他的手机又调的是震动,眼看着手机振颤着、慢慢的,消失在了粘稠的、深深的便坑里

7、 IT年度奖

修理电脑时,一口痰吐到了主机箱里,结果电脑d出发现新硬件~

6、 中文文学奖

办公室三人,二男一女,大男45岁,小男21岁,女30岁。

三人之间没有竞争,所以关系融洽,相处得宜。

某日,女的上调,从这个办公室搬出去了,庆贺酒宴上,大男祝酒后,质问女人:“你为什么要抛夫弃子?”,“抛夫弃子”引得全桌人哄堂大笑。

又一日,小男也上调了,庆贺酒宴上,先走的那女人的丈夫,酸酸地问大男:“听说上次酒宴上,先生语出惊人,这回有什么好说的?”

大男愣一愣,说:“还有什么好说的,俺奋斗半生,只落得如今妻离子散!”

5、 生物和谐奖

重庆以前有个经典地名,叫做人和,取的“天时、地利、人和”的意思

那边有个单位,挂的招牌很无敌

“人和瘦肉型猪配种场”

4、 最佳阅读奖

去华师大后门吃烧烤

烧烤摊前有一广告上书三行大字:

牛肉串

鸡腿

鸡心

偶旁边一NB的MM很大声的读到:烤牛鸡鸡

3、 最佳服务奖

一天,我和表哥去赶公交车,好不容易等来一辆,可车上的人太多了,前门根本就挤不上。我们只好在前门刷了卡,从后门上车,可车上的人实在太多,后门也挤不上。

于是,司机大哥就和我们商量:“我先发动车,慢点开,你们跟在车后面跑跑。”

我和表哥这个纳闷:这算什么办法啊?可也没有办法,只有跟在车屁股后面跑。眼看车开出大概有十来米,忽然一个急刹车,车上的乘客把持不住身体,全部倒向车的前面去了,后门一下子腾出好大一块地方。

这时,司机大哥得意地招呼我们:“快上,快上……”

2、 最强爱心奖

我在公交车里听到别人打电话到电台点歌,有一个男人打电话进去说:“我是外地人,现在回家的车票买不到了,只好在北京过年了。我想点首歌。”

主持人问他:“你想点歌送给谁?”

我当时还想这还用问,肯定是远方的父母亲人了,谁知道他却回答说:“我想点一首陈小春的《算你狠》,送给北京站所有工作人员以及所有票贩子!”

1、 年度大奖

我当年和朋友老六在街上闲逛,边走边喝易拉罐的百事可乐,看见一果皮箱我俩打赌,看谁站得最远还能投进,输得晚上请客。本人出手就中,到老六他专门站的更远,使出吃奶劲儿一扔,扔中果皮箱的顶部,叭!一声巨响易拉罐蘸起老高没进,正好有一女生从那经过,老六的罐没喝干净,那可乐溅在那女生脸上了。

开始,我和老六赶忙向她道歉,可那妞儿得理不让人,一个劲的骂人,老六火了和她对骂起来,我长那么大还头次看见,俩人一直对骂还不带停,对骂了大概一个多钟头,突然那女生指着自己的脸说:“你行?你有本事把它给我舔干净!”

我和老六都还没反映过来,老六还颇不情愿,那女生接着说:“你枉子还是男人!”老六一下火了,一把抱过她,搬过她的头,自己头凑过去,伸出舌头两下就舔完了!老六还对那女生说:“好了!完了!哼!”

老六转个身来,看见我瞠目结舌的样子,一下我们俩都大笑起来,那女生也回过神来,蹲在地上大哭,看情形不妙,我俩赶快给人家说好话、赔不是,后来她是怎么不哭我记不得了,当晚,老六还请那女生和我的客,晚上老六还送那女生回宿舍,几天后那女生成了老六的女友,我们朋友中最早谈恋爱的!

后来我问那丫头当时情景,她说当时她骂晕了,才闹出得大笑话。不过,她觉得老六不错,也就将错就错。从老六那事儿以后,我们宿舍凡是问谈恋爱有无亲密举动,都问“舔了没”。

英国电视剧和美国电视剧不是很相同,他们有着自己独特的笑点文化,所以在影响力方面也没有美国电视剧那么强,但是这不意味着英国电视剧就没落,曾经经典英国电视剧it狂人就曾大热全球,受到很多观众的喜爱,他的大热离不开里面许多搞笑的剧情,那么今天就来介绍一下最喜欢的几场戏:隔夜果酱,珍的演讲。

最喜欢的it狂人的两场戏!

第一,隔夜果酱。隔夜果酱听着像是厨艺节目的一个名字,但其实他是it狂人的第一集,是介绍各个人物的出场。在这一集中我们可以看到珍,她是一个年轻有为的女生,虽然她对于电脑这一类完全不同,但是她可以天马行空地乱扯,最后成功骗过老板,成为了这个公司的it方面的一个小领导,接着露脸的就是另两个角色,罗伊和摩斯。罗伊他是一个爱尔兰男生,说话带着浓烈的爱尔兰口音,但是本人很可爱,长得高高的,也是很乐于助人,相比较罗伊来摩斯来说要更为活泼。摩斯只是一个经典的科技宅男,他呆呆的,萌萌的,完全不知道社交怎么去做,但是电脑技能非常的强。

第二,珍的演讲。珍的演讲则是另一个极度搞笑的场面,珍要升职,所以要在全公司面前演讲关于电脑方面的技术,但是珍她本人对于it行业完全是一窍不通,所以只能选择让罗伊和摩斯来帮她写。这两个人为了整蛊珍,他们就把演讲内容写的天马行空,乱编乱写,甚至把哈利波特里面的角色名字都是弄到里面的,还说网络的起源是蜘蛛。但是最后也没有被发现,因为整个公司的人对于IT也不是很懂。这段剧情也是极度的黑色幽默,非常搞笑。

以上就是关于英语搞笑笑话8篇全部的内容,包括:英语搞笑笑话8篇、幽默笑话段子精选300字、一个英文歌,mv是情侣几段相互恶搞的段子,唱歌是在车上。在线等等相关内容解答,如果想了解更多相关内容,可以关注我们,你们的支持是我们更新的动力!

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