下面是我整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇,欢迎大家阅读!
英语搞笑笑话:Imitation 模仿
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother Your stomach's hurting because it's empty It'll be all right when you've got something in it
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache
That's because it's empty, said his bright son You'd be all right if you had something in it
一个男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛。来,坐下,吃点点心,妈妈说,你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的,他那聪明的儿子说,里面装点东西,就会好的。
英语搞笑笑话: Fried chicken
In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack"
Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir"
老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生,“杰克,你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊”
杰克想了想,回答,“炸鸡,老师。”
英语搞笑笑话:I've Just Bitten My Tongue
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous" the young snake asked his mother
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
英语搞笑笑话:我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
How much English can you speak
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to
be accused of theft He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his
way around What's more, he only speaks a few words of English"
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
"法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。
而且,他只会说几个 英语单词 。"
法官看了看被告,问道:"你会说多少英文"
被告抬起头,说:"把你的钱包给我!"
英语搞笑笑话:He Won 他赢了
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself
Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
英语搞笑笑话:Three pastors 三个牧师
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away
Another said, Yes, me too I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away
The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the churchhaven’t seen one back since!
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道:“你们知道吗,自从夏天来临,我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰,我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说:“是啊,我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍,它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说:“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼,让它们成为教会的一员从此一只也没有再回来过。”
英语搞笑笑话:Excited Remarks 激动的话
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies
我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。
一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。
英语搞笑笑话:Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic
Here is the situation, she said A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help
His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank Why do you think she ran to the bank
A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子:有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会 游泳 ,所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么 一个女生举手答道,是不是去取他的存款
1、这世间,真心本就稀缺,更该俭省。
In this world, sincerity is scarce, even more frugal
2、别和我谈恋爱,虚伪,有本事咱俩结婚。
Don't fall in love with me Hypocrisy We can get married
3、怎么把脑子的钱转到yhk里,在线等,急!
How to transfer the money of brain to bank card, online, etc, urgent!
4、衣柜衣服千千万,只有新的最好看。
There are thousands of clothes in the wardrobe, only the new ones are the best to see
5、自从放了暑假,我就把早餐给戒了。
Since the summer vacation, I've given up breakfast
6、幸好追你的时候你重,跑不动。
Fortunately, you are heavy and can't run when chasing you
7、我喜欢交朋友,但不喜欢供祖宗。
I like to make friends, but I don't like to offer sacrifices to my ancestors
8、世上本没有路,走的人多了,便有了收费站。
There is no road in the world With more people walking, there is a toll station
9、姐不是客服人员,你没权要求姐答这答那。
I'm not a customer service person You have no right to ask me to answer this and that
10、两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读电子书。
Two ears don't hear out of the window, read-only ebook
11、真羡慕你,这么年轻就认识我了。
I envy you I know you so young
12、收银员说:没零钱了,找你两个塑料袋吧。
The cashier said: there's no change Look for two plastic bags
13、梦想被狗吃了,然后过上了狗样的生活。
The dream was eaten by the dog, and then led a dog like life
14、没什么事不要找我,有事更不用找我。
Don't call me if you have nothing to do, let alone if you have something to do
15、你要是鲜花,以后牛都不敢拉屎了。
If you have flowers, the cows won't dare to shit in the future
16、我就是巴黎欧莱雅,你值得拥有!
I am L'Oreal in Paris You deserve it!
17、网上买了个剃须刀,胡子没刮完手抖麻了。
I bought a razor on the Internet, but my hands are numb after shaving
18、如果七夕脱单,我赌50瓶旺仔。
If the Chinese Valentine's Day is off, I'll bet 50 bottles of Wangzai
19、相爱没有那么容易,每个人都有自己的手机。
Love is not so easy, everyone has their own mobile phone
20、先学会不生气,再学会气死人。
First learn not to be angry, then learn to be angry
21、跟我混吧,有我一口饭吃就有你一个碗刷。
Just hang out with me If you have a bite of me, you will have a bowl brush
22、我来到你的城市,你却不请我吃顿饭。
I came to your city, but you didn't invite me to dinner
23、如果再见不能红着眼,能否让我抽红你的脸。
If I can't see you again, can I draw your face red
24、我这人从不记仇,一般有仇当场就报了。
I never remember my revenge I usually take revenge on the spot
25、爱情像鬼,相信的人多,但见到的人少。
Love is like a ghost Many believe, but few see
26、那些年错过的大雨,这些天全部还给你。
All the heavy rain missed in those years will be returned to you these days
27、你们快走开!危险!我感觉我要萌炸了!
Go away! DANGER! I feel like I'm going to explode!
28、缴手机费时,才知道,原来我的话这么值钱。
It took me a long time to pay for my mobile phone It turned out that my words were so valuable
29、领卷子的时候,就买好打火机。
Buy a lighter when you take the paper
30、蓝精灵对着阿凡达唱:长大后,我就成了你。
When I grow up, I will be you
31、知道你过的不好,我就安心了。
I'm relieved to know that you're not doing well
32、长这么大,作业一直对我们不离不弃。
Long so big, homework has been on us
33、跌倒了站起来,换个好看的姿势再倒下。
When you fall, stand up and fall again in a good posture
34、脑袋空不要紧,关键是不要进水。
It doesn't matter if your head is empty The key is not to drink water
35、头这么痛,肯定是有人在榨取我的智慧。
My head hurts so much Someone must be squeezing my wisdom
36、这个天气,冷得连放个屁都能用来烘手了。
It's so cold that even a fart can be used to dry hands
37、就算再想哭,也要微笑着说一句:你大爷的!
Even if you want to cry again, smile and say: yours!
38、把我想得太复杂,说明你也不简单。
I think too complex, that you are not simple
39、嫌对象消息回的慢怎么办?换我,我回得快。
What should I do if I don't get back to you For me, I'll be back soon
40、没有什么困难是战胜不了我的。
There is no difficulty that can't overcome me
41、一年四季都在困,只有躺在床上最清醒。
Sleepy all year round, only lying in bed the most awake
42、女生晒照的自我修养:自拍三千只取一张。
Self cultivation of girls in the sun: take one out of 3000 self portraits
43、那些迈不过去的坎儿,还不是因为你腿短!
It's not because of your short legs that you can't walk past!
44、我承受了这个年纪不该有的饭量。
I've taken on the amount of food I shouldn't have at this age
45、请不要对我发誓,我怕你被劈死。
Please don't swear to me, I'm afraid you will be killed
46、我空有一身泡妞的本事,可惜自己是个妞。
I have the ability to be a girl, but I'm a girl
47、对星期一各种讨厌,对星期五各种怀念。
I hate Monday and miss Friday
48、我依稀记得,当初我学会网购是为了省钱。
I vaguely remember that I learned to buy online in order to save money
49、神马都是浮云,所以我现在开始相信驴。
God horses are floating clouds, so now I start to believe in donkeys
50、这天真的是太热了,想找个人冷战几天。
It's too hot this day I want to find someone to fight for a few days
51、做一个吃货无忧无虑,当一个痴货无牵无挂。
To be a carefree eater, to be a fool
52、成熟不是心变老,而是装逼的次数越来越少。
Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but the fewer and fewer times of pretending to force
53、七夕要到了,是时候回天上跟月老谈谈心了。
Tanabata is coming It's time to go back to heaven and talk to Yuelao
54、除了自讨苦吃,还有别人的苦,也在等你吃。
In addition to begging for help, there are other people's suffering, waiting for you to eat
55、我不喜欢你,像吃了花椒的邻居,麻了隔壁。
I don't like you, like a neighbor who ate pepper, Ma next door
56、不见我遗憾终身,见到我终生遗憾。
I'm sorry to see you all my life
57、你是无可取代,没有人跟你丑的一模一样。
You as like as two peas
58、那小子,敢不喜欢我,纯属找抽型的。
That kid, dare not like me, it's just for drawing
59、虽然我不会做饭,但是我点得一手好外卖呀!
Although I can't cook, I ordered a good take out!
60、如果男人不帮你穿上婚纱,你就送他件袈裟。
If a man doesn't help you put on your wedding dress, you will send him a cassock
英语的正规翻译是:Ladies and gentlemen。搞笑翻译:雷得丝俺的乡亲们。
ladies英[ˈleidiz]美[ˈlediz] n 指成年女子,有些人尤其是长者认为这样说比较礼貌。[例句]Your table is ready, ladies, if you'd care to come through。你们的桌位已经准备好了,女士们,请跟我来。
gentlemen英['dʒentlmen]美['dʒentlmen] n 先生; 绅士,阁下,有身份的人。[例句]If you'll excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, we'd better leave it there对不起,女士们,先生们,我们还是不要再讨论这个了。
扩展资料:
1、Ladies and gentlemen, if you please Miss Taylor's going to play for us
女士们,先生们,烦请泰勒**为我们表演。
2、They were performing a short extract from Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona
他们正表演莎士比亚剧作《维洛那二绅士》中的一个片段。
3、They aspired to be gentlemen, though they fell far short of the ideal
他们想要成为君子,虽然离这个理想还差得很远。
4、It's my position that gentlemen should reason thing out rather than resort to force
我主张君子动口不动手。
5、Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Fred Durst
女士们,先生们,请为弗雷德·德斯特来点掌声。
参考资料:
1、鼠标点击新春,键盘书写真情,伊妹儿传递喜讯,英特尔情系奥运,五环牵手北京,五福娃来到家门,向你道声:虎年好,阖家团聚唱太平!
2、一样甘苦荣耻共享,共握大浆划船前航。共创事业美化家园,携手齐进打拼勇闯。祝福虎年吉祥,快乐每一天!
3、删除2021年的失败和忧愁,设置2022年的理想和成功,取消疾病与痛苦,储存永远的健康,粘贴甜蜜的幸福,复制今天的快乐!祝:虎年平安相伴!新年快乐!
4、亲友聚餐别喝醉,吃点粗粮养养胃,多晒太阳暖暖背,锻炼身体清清肺,果蔬多吃才对味,旅游美景多体会,新的一年里,祝福虎年吉祥,万事顺意!
5、喜欢与你默默对视,愿意在你的注视下,轻执墨痕,为你写一段文字。一缕清风,一朵小花,一个微笑,一句轻声的问候,就够了。虎年吉祥,万事开心!
6、富贵如浮云,荣华花间露,功名利禄如粪土,人生路上苦追逐,耗尽光阴奔前途,方知钱财身外物,健康平安皆是福,虎年驿站稍停驻,人生难得是糊涂!
您好!fun和funny都可作形容词,但二者用法和侧重点不同。
fun和funny的区别:①词性不同。fun既可以做名词意思是乐趣、玩笑,也可以作形容词意思是有趣的。funny作形容词意思是可笑的,有趣的,滑稽的。②含义不同。funny 表示“有趣的,滑稽的”,它指的是一种滑稽可笑的“有趣”,侧重点是让人觉得好玩或发笑,而 fun 则主要指“有趣,好玩”,不像funny 那样强调“滑稽”。③用法不同。fun是不可数名词,没有复数形式,也不可加不定冠词,其后可接(in) v -ing,也可用于另一名词前作定语。funny在句中可作定语、表语或宾语补足语。funny前可用very修饰。
圆圆:你好! 不知道你什么时候能够看到这封信,好像你上网是全凭心情而定的,没有一点规律。我早就期望能跟你在网上做倾心之谈的愿望一直没有实现,而且时而想起你的时候我就感到很奇怪,因为除了你写来的e-mail,我的身边没有一点你存在的痕迹,在我翻阅这些e-mail的时候,我曾试着告诉自己,这些信都是我自己写的,而你只是我构思出来的一个女孩。 我把你称作“圆圆”,让你长的年轻漂亮,并在信息港给你找了一份工作,因为我不忍心将你想象为在街头的小饭店卖早点,虽然我不讨厌街头卖早点的女孩,实际上除了我认识的几个实在惹人讨厌的女孩外,对所有我不认识的和认识的又不惹人讨厌的女孩都有好感,并奢望着有朝一日,在这众多的女孩中有那么一个能够喜欢上我,不过实际上我是一厢情愿。所以在这个细雨蒙蒙的午后,我便给也许是虚构中的你写了这么一封信。 虽然我不知你是否真实的存在,可是我却有着一张紫色的女孩的照片,我不知道是怎么来的,因为我发现她的时候她就静静地躺在我的信箱里,由于我不知道这是谁,所以就姑且当作是你的吧。我不愿意评述这张照片,因为我已经把她做成了壁纸和钥匙扣,整天面对着她并随时的将她带在身边,我没有钱包(因为没有用处,我身上一直没有几块钱),如果有的话我想我也会将她放在我的钱包中。虽然我不敢确定她是否是你,而你又是否存在。但是我依然将她带在身边。 每当我试着忘却的时候,我的信箱中总是出现一些你的痕迹,或者是一封短信,或者是一张卡片。仿佛是冥冥中有一只看不见的手在 *** 纵着这一切,当我快要忘却的时候,他却又将你从我的记忆中唤醒,并向我证明你是真实存在的。可是这仍会使我将信将疑,因为我时常认为自己的兜里还有50元钱,并且这个月再也没有我认识的人跑来告诉我他要结婚了。但是总是事与愿违,我的兜里并没有50元钱,到月底的时候也总是有人跑来告诉我他自己或者是某某人要结婚了。所以我经常希望我也不是真实存在的,他们也不是真的结婚,我的钱也不是真的没有了,这只不过是镜花水月的一场梦而已。 今天我又收到了圆圆寄来的一张卡片,上面写着“一起约个时间喝杯咖啡好不好”。我不介意跟谁一起喝咖啡,也不介意她是否是存在,即使是她不真的存在,能够喝上咖啡也是好的。因为我并没有真的喝过咖啡,因为在我的记忆中,离真正的咖啡最近的是在北京的一次,那时是在跟两个老外谈关于中药网站前景如何等等诸如此类的屁话。我们每个人的前面都放着一杯咖啡,又黑又香,可是直到离开我也没有喝上一口,也许这是今生我距离咖啡最近的一次,不过却失之交臂,没能尝上一口。当然这也可能是我自己虚构出来的,因为自打离开后我再也没有见过那两个老外,也许他们也不是真正存在的,既然是这样的话,那么咖啡也不会真实的存在。虽然你也许不是真实存在的,我还是希望能够和你一同喝上一杯咖啡。 外面的雨停了,不过天上还是有着很厚的云,但愿仲秋的时候不会是这样的,不然很多的人就会因为无法仲秋赏月而感时伤怀,天上月圆,地上人圆,团团圆圆,这莫不是很多人终生的追求目标吗?圆圆,冥冥中又向我证实了你是真实存在的。 不过尽管我不敢确定很多的事情,但是有一件事我还是确切的知道,那就是我很长时间不能在晚间的时候上网了,因为我家中机器的'硬盘坏掉了。虽然我很难过,并写了一篇纪念我的硬盘的文章,以寄托我的哀思,但无论我如何做,它也不会再活转过来,所以我也不再能够在家中上网。 我还是很想见到你——真的,如果你真的存在的话,你会读到这里,如果你只是我虚构出来的,我想收下我的这封情书也与你无损。雨停了,我也没有再留下来的理由,我走了,在下一场雨到来之前。 IT人士的搞笑情书2 每次想到你,我都会充分调动五官的每一个部分,以显示出想你的诚意来。我的左眼皮会跳,会连续不断地打喷嚏,伴之以眼中的思念牌泪花。我的左耳朵会高低上下地旋转,想倾听你的声音,我的右耳朵虽然做着相反的动作,但也是想倾听你的声音。我的毛绒绒的大嘴会产生强烈的渴求,顺便从舌尖沿淌下一种叫作消化酶的液体,一滴,二滴……滴滴难舍,意犹未尽。 每次见到你的时候,我全身上下无不为之欢欣鼓舞,我想温柔地把你抱在怀中,亲吻你的每一寸领土;我想把你含在口中,让你体会我的温暖。每一次你都想挣脱,说我的手是魔掌,说我的口是虎口。我想严正地指出,这些词用在我身上并不妥当,但你总是不听,拼命地摇耳朵,我只好以实际行动来证明了! 由于爱你之心难以抗拒,我让你深入进我的腹中,实地参观什么才叫伟大的爱?什么才叫做撕心裂肺?你很安静,我知道,在我的教育感化下我们终于融成一个整体了,这就是普通人所说的“结合”吧? 有时看到人那么辛苦地追逐一个叫“爱情”的东东,我很是为他们不值!我的爱与他们不同,我是爱你的,这一点毫无疑问,无论多少苦难,无论什么坎坷,这种爱今生今世都不会磨灭。我爱你尖尖的耳朵,爱你红红的眼睛,爱你蠕动的小嘴,爱你柔软的身体。我用我的一生等待着你的到来!没有你我一定会痛苦地死去!
you me you me 彼此彼此
watch sister表妹
American Chinese not enough 美中不足
heart flower angry open 心花怒放
go past no mistake past 走过路过,不要错过
People mountain and people sea 人山人海
seven up eight down 七上八下
love who who 爱谁谁
no three no four不三不四
morning three night four 朝三暮四
red face konw me红颜知己
wang eight eggs 王八蛋
ten three point 十三点
no care three seven two ten one 不管三七二十一
play a big knife before Guan Gong 关公面前耍大刀
play an ax before Lu Ban 班门弄斧
小明:I am sorry!
老外:I am sorry too!
小明:I am sorry three!
老外:What are you sorry for
小明:I am sorry five!
One car come one car go,two car peng peng, people die(车祸现场描述)
We two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁阿!
How are you How old are you 怎么是你,怎么老是你?
You don't bird me, I don't bird you你不鸟我,我也不鸟你。
You have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers!together up!
你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!
Hello everybody! If you have something to say, then say! If you have nothing to say,go home!有事起奏,无事退朝。
You give me stop! 你给我站住!
Know is know no know is no know 知之为知之,不知为不知。
Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse's son can make hole!
龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞!
If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有,要命一条
You have two down son。你有两下子。
As far as you go to die 有多远,死多远!
I give you face you don't wanna face, you lose you face,I turn my face
给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸
Want money no,want life one! 要钱不给,要命有一条!
Money or life?要钱还是要命?
Good good study,day day up! 好好学习,天天向上!
You ask me,I ask who?你问我,我去问谁?
We are one home people 我们是一家人。
You have painting hurry say, you have ass hurry fart! 有话快说,有屁快放!
You talk like breaking the wind!你说话像放屁一样!
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