英语短笑话

1Is it a boy or a girl

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans Is it a boy or a girl

B: It's a girl She's my daughter

A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir I didn't know that you were her father

B: I'm not I'm her mother

翻译：是男孩还是女孩？

A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩？

B：是个女孩。她是我的女儿。

A:哦，对不起，先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。

B：我不是。我是她的妈妈。

2Pretty ugly

Mary: John says I'm pretty Andy says I'm ugly What do you think, Peter

Peter: I think you're pretty ugly

翻译：非常丑陋的

玛丽：约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样，彼得？

彼得：我觉得你很丑。

3Silent fart

A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem

"Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you What are we going to do"

The doctor replies:

"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing"

翻译：沉默的屁：沉默的屁

一个人走进医生的办公室，遇到了一个严重的问题。

“医生，我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里，工作，甚至在教堂，我放出无数的无声屁，无论我走到哪里！事实上，我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办？”

医生回答说：

“我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。”

3Pay tax with a smile

A: I hate paying my income tax

B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile

A: I'd like to but they insist on money!

翻译：A:我讨厌付所得税。

B：你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢？

A:我很愿意，但是他们坚持要钱！

4Take his place

An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor

"So, what is it" grumbled the governor

"Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place"

Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker"

翻译：代替他：取代他的位置

午夜过后，一位律师打电话给州长，坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。

“那么，这是什么呢？”州长抱怨道。

“Garber法官刚刚去世，”律师说，“我想接替他的位置。”

州长回答说：“好吧，如果殡仪馆还好的话，我就可以了。”

5I'm Sick

One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital

Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you

Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him I'm sick

翻译：我生病了

一天，哈米德感到很不舒服，他去了医院。

护士：哈米德，医生来见你。

哈米德：告诉他，我看不见他。我病了。

向姑姑道歉

爸爸：“儿子，你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻？”去跟她说声对不起。”

儿子：（走到姨妈跟前）“阿姨，对不起你是个笨蛋。”

6Say sorry to aunt

Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid Go and say sorry to her"

Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid"

6Undying love

Girl: Do you love me

Boy: Yes, dear

Girl: Would you die for me

Boy: No, mine is undying love

翻译：永恒的爱：永恒的爱

女孩：你爱我吗？

男孩：是的，亲爱的。

女孩：你愿意为我而死吗？

男孩：不，我的爱是永恒的

扩展资料：

look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受

young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年

short hair短头发

blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子，牛仔裤

do you你愿意吗

fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人

walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走，步行，散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行

'vehave 的缩略形式

At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通

and even乃至

下面是我整理的经典幽默 英语笑话 ，欢迎大家阅读!

经典幽默英语笑话：The New Baby

Mrand MrsTaylor had a seven year old boy named PatNow MrsTaylor was expecting another child

Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too

One evening Mrand MrsTaylor were making plans for the baby's arrivalThis house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，said MrTaylor

Pat came into the room just then and said，What are you talking aboutWe were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，his mother answered

It's no use，said Pat hopelessly He'll follow us there

新生儿

泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。

帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。

一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。

帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：你们在说什么他的母亲回答说：我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。

那没用，帕特绝望地说。他会跟我们到那儿去的。

经典幽默英语笑话：What Are The Two Words

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughterMy dear， said the old lady，I wish you would do something for meI wish you would promise me never to use two wordsOne is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’Would you promise me that

Why，sure，Granny，said the girlWhat are the two words

是哪两个词

一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说：我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗

噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词

经典幽默英语笑话：What's your name

A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to trainHe had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be troubleDon't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together

Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his nameSpeak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,He said,and don't forget to call me 'sir'

Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last oneThis man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier

The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he repliedMy name is Stonebreaker,sirhe said nervously

你叫什么名字

有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵，于是他开始 自我介绍 ：我的名字叫Stone(石头)，事实上，我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招，这样我们就能很好相处了。

接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。说大声点，让每个人都能听清楚。另外，不要忘记称呼我为长官。他说。

每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时，这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫，当我问你问题的时候，要回答!我再问一遍，你的名字，士兵

那个新兵很不高兴，但最后他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机)，长官。他紧张的说。

经典幽默英语笑话：No Problem

A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop How can I help you asked the stylist I went for a hair transplant, the guy explained, but I couldn't stand the pain If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000

No problem, said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head

没问题

一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。发型师问：有什么可以帮你吗那个人解释说：我本来去做头发移植，但实在太痛了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。

没问题，发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头。

经典幽默英语笑话：

The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected When the work was com pleted， the patron was asked to come and inspect itAs a matter of fact，the picture was just one daub of brilliant red

What's this exclaimed the purchaserI asked for theRed Sea， on the occasion of the celebrated passage

That's it，replied Hogarth

But，where are the Israelites

They are all gone over

Where are the Egyptians

They're all drowned

一天，有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅法老王渡红海图。这幅画刚开始不久，酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现，完成这幅画后，他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后，那位主顾被请来看画。其实，这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。

这是什么那位买主喊了起来。我要的是红海，是那次著名的航海。

这就是，霍迦斯回答说。

可是以色列人在哪儿

他们都已经渡过去了。

埃及人在哪儿

他们全都淹死了。

经典幽默英语笑话：人们什么时候说话最少

Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom

老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么

Tom: Men

汤姆:男人们。

Teacher: Good And the plural of child

老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢

Tom : Twins

汤姆: 双胞胎。

经典幽默英语笑话：我丈夫刚进来

The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over

在饭馆里坐着一对夫妇，他们看上去非常高兴。但是当那女子向旁边瞥了一眼时，服务员马上跑了过来。

“Madam look,”he said“Your husband just slid under the table”

“夫人，您瞧,” 他说,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”

“No,he didn't,”she replied“My husband just came in the door”

“不，他没有,” 她回答,“我丈夫刚从门外进来。”

经典幽默英语笑话：有两条裤子

A young man came home from work and found his bride upset "I feel terrible,” she said "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers”

丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。“我心里太难受了，”她说。“我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。”

“Forget it ,” consoled her husband “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit”

“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说。“你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。”

“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up "And it’s lucky you have I used them to patch the hole”

“是的，”妻子高兴地说，“幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。”

英语幽默笑话：

一：She Didn"t Say Anything

A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence

The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。

“How do you know” asked her father

“She didn"t say anything”

二：I Have Turned It Over

A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty Would you like to wash it now”

The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary We can turn the sheet over Is that all right”

三、40 over Li lotus heart disease arises suddenly, is escorted to the hospital first aid The condition extremely too bad, the Li lotus felt oneself nearly all already died

In the rescue, the Li lotus has heard God's sound suddenly: "You cannot die, you also may live for 45 years 6 months 02 days, has the courage to go on living!"

Certainly, the result was the Li lotus miracle is revived After the body recovers, the Li lotus thought oneself also can live for more than 40 years, then □has anxiously is leaving the hospital, first repairs the face, then makes up the lip, then is the prosperous chest, finally is the thin abdomen, continuously has undergone 4 cosmetology surgeries altogether, then was called the specialized hair stylist to visit the service, changed has sent the color, has made the new tide hairstyle, the entire stature looked at □the young several years old

After last the reshaping surgery completes, the Li lotus then happily handled left the hospital the procedure, □thought actually the ambulance which rapidly 驶过 by 撞死 in the entrance

After the heaven, the Li lotus has been angry interrogates God: "Since you had said I also may live for 45 years, then you should not eat the word"

God awkwardly 耸了耸肩, replies: "Really is sorry, at that time, the vehicle hit when you I have not recognized am you"

英语笑话这里面有的，可以看看：

>

以上就是关于急需：英语小笑话，简单短小，而且超级爆笑！谢了。全部的内容，包括:急需：英语小笑话，简单短小，而且超级爆笑！谢了。、经典幽默英语笑话8篇、英语短笑话等相关内容解答，如果想了解更多相关内容，可以关注我们，你们的支持是我们更新的动力！