顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了
服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！
Diner:Watchout!Yourthumbsinmysoup!
Waiter:Don'orrySirit'snotthathot!
服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”
AwaiterbringsthecustomerthesteakheorderedwithhisthumboverthemeatAreyoucrazyyelledthecustomerwithyourhandonmysteakWhatanswersthewaiterYouwantittofallontheflooragain
服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！
服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？
Waiter:Teaorcoffeegentlemen
I'llhavetea
2ndcustomer:Metoo-andbesuretheglassisclean!
(Waiterexitsreturns)Waiter:TwoteasWhichoneaskedforthecleanglass
顾客：服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？看起来象是在仰泳，
Waiterwhat'sthisflydoinginmysoupUmlookstometobebackstrokesir
顾客：汤里有只苍蝇！
服务员：别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!
Don'orrysirthespideronthebreadrollwillget'em
服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!Nosirthat'sacockroachtheflyisonyoursteak
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!Keepitdownsirorthey'llallbewantingone
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!ItsOKSirthere'snoextracharge!
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。
Waiterthereisaflyinmysoup!SorrysirmaybeI'vefottenihenIremovedtheotherthree
服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！
是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。
Waiterthere'sadeadflyinmysoup!
Yessirit'sthehoaterthatkillsthem
Will power意志力
Mike(M) Danny(C), Tommy(T)---clas ates
地点:Scene----in the college dorm大学宿舍
Danny is playing a puter game on his lap Tommy is sleeping
Mike came back from a morning jogging
M: hi, Dan, what are u doing
D: I am playing war craft
M: Where is Tommy
D: Shiiiii!
M:What What's the matter
D: Don't u see He is still sleeping
M: My goodness! I can't believe this! It’s almost nine He got to get up now Don't u remember we are required to make up a three people dialogue for tomorrow's oral class
D: Yes, I do You wake up Tommy and I will play one more round of war craft
M: You'd better s playing right now We don't have much time to prepare this dialogue Tommy! Tommy! Wake up! Time to wake up!
T:five more minutes, please
Mike: No way, Jose Time really fliesWe still have a lot to do Hurry up
T: (Tommy sits up in his bed) Can I lie down o more minutes, please, just o more minutes when Danny finishes his game, I will be fine(Yawns) I don't know why I am so so sleepy (Tommy lies down again)
M: Guys!!! I am really angry now Time waits for nobody If you o don't s what you are doing now, I will find somebody else to be my partners
D and T: all right All right We listen to u
M: That's more like it We need will power
D and T: what is will power
M: Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do
D: You mean like trying not to play war craft
Mike: right
T: you mean like trying not to stay up late
M: right
Danny turns off his puter Tommy gets up and goes to the bathroom
Two minutes later the three maskeetters are working on their assignment
Danny: Mike, can I take a little break Let me play one round and we will continue our work
Tommy: Mike, Can I lie down a minute My back hurts
Mike: No! No! No! Let's finish our work first before we do anything We need will power!!!
Danny and Tommy: that's true We need will power! We listen to you
“人人英语听力网”有情景对话，可以去看下。
需要一段大约5分钟的5人英语情景对话 5人英语话剧剧本 这个短剧讲的是：搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。
人物
Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen
Eliza Lin: Daughter
Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside
Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)
Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE I
A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing And her daughter is in the school now
Mom: Hello~
Caller: (A boy is crying) Ha! Your kid is here Do you hear his voice If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom
Mom: Are you crazy I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me Stupid guy!
The mother is very angry and hung up the phone But later… the phone is ringing again…
Mom: Hello~
Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now
Mom: (I recognize the voice) You are a fraud, right Do you want to trick me again Is it fun Don’t do such a boring thing, OK I won’t believe you
Caller: Really Listen to this(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)
Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop Do you understand (Hang up the phone more angrier)
But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter The mom got there…
Mom: Eliza~
Eliza: Mom~ why you are here Are you missing me Do you e here to pick me up
Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school Let’s go home I want to tell you something on the way home
Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on
急求一个三人英语幽默情景对话剧本 在线等
看看这个：
D=Daniel
F=Flora
A=Annie
(At lunch break, in the cafeteria)
A: Hey Flora, How's it going
F: Good Everything's been fine
A: Do you want to go watch a movie later
F: Sure, which movie
A:2012 I've heard that it has excellent graohics
F: Oh really That sounds amazing! Sure, I will go
(D es in)
D: Hey ladies, what's up
A: Hey, Dan
F: Hello
D: What were you guys talking about
F: Annie just asked me to go watch a movie with her
D: Really Which one
A: 2012 The new one that is ing out
D: Great! Can I e too I wanted to see that movie for quite a long time!
A: Of course you can e!
D: So when is it
F: Yeah, when should we go watch it and where
(bell rings)
A: I will call you guys later to update you See ya!
F: Bye Annie!
D: Catch you later!
A:Why do you drink wine everyday
B:I like it !A:Is it delicious
B:Of course!Not only so,in wine there is truth
A:really,what is it
B:When you are in low spirits,drinking wine can help you about that On the other hand,it can help you make more friends
A:Oh,it's so supernatural
Bill:Hello,
JillJill:Hi,Bill
Bill:What happened You look like a little upset
Jill:I'm worried about my exams My teacher asks me to make a public sppech with one clas ate
Bill:So you don't have a partner
Jill:No,I haveLily is my partnerBut neither of us know how to make a speech
Bill:Oh, it doesn't matterMy friend Bob knowsHe really did it beforeYou can ask himJill:Could you halp me I don't know him
Bill: Of course He is at classroom now Let's go
Bill: Hello,BobThis is my friend Jill
Bob:Nice to meet you,Jill
Jill: Nice to meet you,too
Bill:Bob,Jill meets a problemHis teacher asks him to make a speechBut he doesn't knowhow to make itCould you help himBob:OkThere are several vital factors when it es to make a publicspeechFirst of all,wo should consider the content of the speech,what things do you want to talk aboutJill:Let me write it downOkAnd then
Bob:Secondly,you should consider the length of the speechIt should not too long or too short
Jill:And
Bob:Last but not least,speak confidentlyJust remember be confident whenever and wherever you are That is the most importmant
Jill:Thank you very much
Bob:Any other matters I can help you
Jill:Maybe,but not at this momentI have many things to do Could I ask you to help me laterBob:Yes,you couldI'd like to
Bill:Ok, problems are solvedLet go for lunchIt's time for lunchAnd you can go on
Amy, Brown, Cathy are now study together in the same primary school
One day, Amy quarreled with Brown
Amy: my father is a great man! Everybody else should low down his head as he required in his place, because he is a CEO in a pany!
Brown: what on earth are you talking about My father is greater than your father, because every CEO should low down his head as he required in his place, because he is a leader in the tax affair bureau!
Amy & Brown: how about you, poor Cathy You little thing…
Cathy: that’s nothing to me, aording to what you were just discussed about, actually my father is the greatest one in the world
Amy & Brown: what Who is he
Cathy: your daddy should low down his head as he required in his place, because he is a barber
A, a customer, is plaining to Bathe sale an, about the quality of her newly-bought air-conditioner
A: Excuse me, may I talk to the manager please
B: He is not here at the moment See if I can help you
A: I bought this air condtitioner o weeks ago It worked pretty good for a week Then I started to hear this big noise which drives me nuts
B: Let me take a look Ok
A: Thank you
B: You are wele I am sorry about what you went through Do you still have the receipt
A: Yes, it is right here
B: Aording to the store policy, you may return it and have your refund within 15 days You want to return it and have a different one
A: No I want to look around and make sure I pick a good one
B: ok Whenever you are ready, you are wele to pick a different brand I think Haier is the best Trust me
A: Oh yeah All right, I will think about it Thank you so much
B: take care!
顾客：小心,你的大拇指在我汤里了
服务员：别担心,先生,不是很烫!
Diner:Watch out!Your thumb's inmysoup!
Waiter:Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!
服务员给顾客拿来了牛排,大拇指在牛肉上“你疯了吗”顾客喊到,“你的手在我的牛排上!”“什么”服务员说,“你想让它再掉地上”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat Are you crazyyelledthecustomerwithyourhandonmysteakWhatanswersthewaiterYouwantittofallontheflooragain
服务员：茶或咖啡先生
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的!
服务员：两杯茶,哪个要干净的杯子
Waiter:Teaorcoffeegentlemen
I'llhavetea
2ndcustomer:Metoo-andbesuretheglassisclean!
(Waiterexitsreturns)Waiter:TwoteasWhichoneaskedforthecleanglass
顾客：服务员,这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么看起来象是在仰泳,
Waiterwhat'sthisflydoinginmysoupUmlookstometobebackstrokesir
顾客：汤里有只苍蝇!
服务员：别担心,先生,面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!
Don'orrysirthespideronthebreadrollwillget'em
服务员,我汤里有只苍蝇!不是,先生,那是蟑螂,苍蝇在你牛排里
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!Nosirthat'sacockroachtheflyisonyoursteak
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!别让别人看见,先生,要不别人都要
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!Keepitdownsirorthey'llallbewantingone
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!我知道,先生,我们没有另收钱
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!ItsOKSirthere'snoextracharge!
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!对不起,先生,我弄走那三个时忘了这个
Waiterthereisaflyinmysoup!SorrysirmaybeI'vefottenihenIremovedtheotherthree
服务员,汤里有只死苍蝇!
是的,先生,是开水杀死了它们
Waiterthere'sadeadflyinmysoup!
Yessirit'sthehoaterthatkillsthem
A:If that man gives me any more letters to type I'll screamHe's given me ten already today,and there'll be more when I get back from coffeeI'll be here till midnight
B:Simmer down,FrannyHe can't make you stay after five
C:Sure,francsFinish what you can,and leave the rest for Minday
A:But they're important letters,JoeThey should go out tonight
C:That's not your worryIf they're that urgent,he should've given them to you earlier
B:Joe's right,FranYou won't catch him staying in the office after five on a FridayHe's got better things to doNotesScream 大叫大嚷（要做某事）
Simmer down 别激动
Make you stay 要你留下
You won't catch him-he would neverA：如果那个人再给我一些信要我打字,我就要大声嚷嚷了,今天他已经给了我十封信等我喝完咖啡回来还会有更多的信我在这儿要呆到午夜了
B：别激动,弗兰尼他不会让你呆到五点以后的
C：是的,弗朗西斯,你能干多少就干多少,剩下的留到星期一再做
A：可是这都是些重要信件,乔,今天晚上应该发出去
C：这用不着你担心如果这些信那么紧急,他应该早一点交给你
B：乔说得对,弗朗每星期五他从来不会在办公室呆到五点以后他有意思的事要做
服务名称为：“Background
Intelligent
Transfer
Service”
服务说明：“在后台传输客户端和服务器之间的数据。如果禁用了
BITS，一些功能，如
Windows
Update，就无法正常运行。”
请尝试禁止此服务，然后重新启动一下看看。
这种问题是由于服务启动顺序导致的，属于正常现象。
此问题上未得到Microsoft的回答。有恶意程序，请查杀，我的前几天也是这样，一点那个“切换到”就会打开开始菜单，杀了几个广告程序就好了用安全卫士或者卡巴斯基都可以
卡巴斯基®互联网安全套装 V60300 build 0720 简体中文授权版
这是河套基地的下载地址，这个网站不错
我现在用的就是这个，下载速度很快
>像这样的
一日曹 *** 和刘备煮酒论英雄。外面乌云密布、电闪雷鸣、风雨交加。二人小酌了几杯，刘备忽然放了个响屁，十分尴尬。
刘备正窘迫，只听身后关羽坦然地说道：“诸位莫见怪，屁从羽（雨）中来！”
关羽话音刚落，一旁的赵云跨前一步道：“诸位莫见怪，屁从云中来！”
赵云刚刚说罢，大嗓门的张飞接着叫道：“屁是飞来的！”
大家一阵哈哈大笑。刘备也已恢复常态。
曹 *** 没有笑，他对此事深有感触。送走刘备等人后，曹 *** 对部下说道：“刘备的属下，一见主公有个闪失，都争先恐后抢着承担责任和弥补过失，真可谓忠心耿耿。此事要是轮到尔等，能够办到吗？”
众人都忿忿不平，齐声说：“丞相，不就是个屁事吗，这有何难！下次你瞧好吧。”
过了几天，曹 *** 又请刘备喝酒，席间他想放个屁，看看部下反应如何。憋了半天，终于硬憋出个小屁。众人早已等候多时，听到“咕”的一声，大将许褚是个急性子，连忙抢先喊道：“屁是褚（猪）放的！”
侍中王朗紧跟着说道：“屁是朗（狼）放的！”
苟安说:这是苟(狗)屁
蔡瑁说:这是瑁(猫)屁
曹 *** 一听瞪起眼来，其他人以为曹 *** 嫌自己缓慢，都抢着往自己身上揽。
牛金说：“这是金屁！”
荀彧说：“这是彧(玉)屁！”
曹洪说：“屁是洪（红）的！”
高览说：“屁是览（蓝）的！”
蒋干说：“屁是干的！”
司马师说：“屁是师(湿)的！”
夏侯渊说：“屁是渊(圆)的！”
曹芳说：“屁是方的！”
曹 *** 脸都白了，正要发作，谋士郭嘉嚷道：“都不对，都不对！大家说的不对！”
不愧是我排名第一的军师。曹 *** 暗暗想到。先听听他这么说。
只听郭嘉道：“这是嘉(假)屁！”
曹真又抢道：“这是真屁！”
曹 *** 气的快昏过去了，彻底失望了，不想后面还有更多人
郭淮说：“这是淮（坏）屁！”
张郃说道：“屁是郃（喝）的！”
司马炎说：“屁是炎（咽）的！”
徐晃说道：“屁是晃出来的！”
夏侯敦道：“屁是敦（蹾）出来的！”
郭图说道：“屁是图（吐）出来的！
夏侯霸说：“屁是霸（扒）出来的”
荀攸说道：“屁是攸（悠）来的！”
满宠说道：“屁是宠（冲）来的！”
蒋济说道：“屁是济（挤）来的！”
钟繇说道：“屁是繇（摇）来的！”
终于，曹 *** 再忍不住了，怒道：“胡说，屁是 *** 出来的。”
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